So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I forget how to act sober
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