and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
