this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
