the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
