So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Michael Bay diarrhea
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
