fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
