just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
