We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
