Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
