I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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