I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Randomize
