I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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