You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
