I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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