are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
