THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
