Need sex. Gaining weight.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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