Cold hands, warm shart.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
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She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
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A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm always down for nudity.
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