She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
