so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
ttyl tear gas
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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