What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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