Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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