I heard we made out
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize
