your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
