he shaved USA in his pubs
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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