Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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