All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
