The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
