whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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