Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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