if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
