I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
he thought i was a dude.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
