I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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