just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
