He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
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Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
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Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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