I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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