I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
