My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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