My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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