so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
