dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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