its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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