My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
