maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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