Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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