So drunk, too bad you don't want this
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
