It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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