i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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