It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
