come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
