3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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