Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize