i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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