Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
