haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
