1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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