i think i have two assholes
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
